Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

It's been a while, but, hey, I'm bored!

I had a dream/epiphany last night. This is the first time that I have thought anything worthwhile in a dream, and this epiphany is only arguably worthwhile. I understand that I must have missed/misunderstood many a joke in the past because I hadn't yet realized that MAGIC JOHNSON'S NAME IS MAGIC JOHNSON!!!!!
I mean, whoa! What a name! Apparently, the origin of the nickname is sincere and not, um, perverse? But perhaps sacrilegious:
Johnson was first nicknamed "Magic" as a 15-year-old sophomore playing for Lansing's Everett High School, when he recorded a triple-double of 36 points, 18 rebounds and 16 assists.[8] After the game, Fred Stabley Jr., a sports writer for the Lansing State Journal, nicknamed him "Magic",[9] despite Johnson's Christian mother thinking that the name was sacriligeous.

(from Wikipedia)

So that's all. The whole epiphany.

But while I'm writing about things that aren't really worth talking about, I will mention that I have become notably frustrated by weather reports. Old news, sure. Everyone hates the inaccuracy of weather reports. I have always been a fan of, regardless of it's inaccuracy. I actually switched to because Yahoo Weather pissed me off (always predicting rain and snow, but never giving an estimated amount). Recently, though, I've been looking at both and, because Jared assures me that AccuWeather is more AccuRate.
On Sunday I was planning on attending a Phillies game with my uncle, who suffers from numerous, serious health problems, therefore requiring at least tolerable weather. I checked both weather sites that morning. said it would rain all day. AccuWeather said it wouldn't rain at all. (It didn't rain.. 1 point goes to AccuWeather).
Currently, I'm looking at similar predictions for today. And, believe it or not, the rain/no rain conflicitons aren't even what's really bothering me. It's the variations in temperature. I type my zip code (19147) into both sites, and it's almost always a different temperature. This morning before I left the house, AccuWeather told me it was 64° and said 72°. That's kind of a big difference.
Maybe I just need to shut up and buy a thermometer. And a barometer, and a rain gauge. And maybe a kite with a key attached.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Good Choice, Jillian

My little sister, Jillian, is going off to college in the fall, so she's been in the midst of that awful/exciting college finding process for a while. After her visit to George Mason this week, she has decided that it's the school for her. George Mason is in Fairfax, VA, so I decided to look up how close that is to D.C. It's pretty close. That's good, considering that I told her that if she went to West Virginia University (a runner up), I would never visit her because it would be boring.
At any rate, I went to the George Mason website, and was greeted by the same photo with which I am greeting you.
It reads: "With the help of Mason's Career Switchers Program, Kevin Laub discovered his true calling:" Hanging plastic lobsters on classroom walls. Or maybe he calls them "Laubsters"?
SIDE NOTE: Jill is the one who inspired the name for this blog, The Toothpick's Worm. She came up with it as a team name for some event at school when she was ten. This is, apparently, not unlike the inspiration for the band name Jimmy Eat World

Friday, January 25, 2008

Revalations 1:25-08

It is a bad idea to live paycheck to paycheck because you might get fired.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

A Review of Wendy's Frosty Float or How I wasted $2.13 on Wednesday

On Wednesday, January 9, 2008, I went to Wendy's. I pass the Wendy's at 15th and Chestnut at least once a day, and they have had this big advertisement for the Frosty Float for several weeks. It includes the photo shown to the right. Now, everyone likes Frosties. They're good. We all know it's just a milkshake, but the experience is somehow different. So. A Frosty Float. Sounds Good. It couldn't be very much money; half off the Wendy's menu is only $.99.
Because the weather has been so unnaturally nice this week, I thought, "This is the week I buy a Frosty Float." And it was. I bought one yesterday in between picking up my paycheck and going to the bank. The service at Wendy's was about par, not good, not too bad. I ordered the float and was given the total of $2.13. I looked up at the menu to realize that the Floats are $1.99, but, of course, Frosty Floats are NOT considered necessity by the State of Pennsylvania, and so they are taxed 7%.
After waiting for a minute, I was asked what kind of soda I wanted in my float. I said, "Root Beer." They said, "We don't have Root Beer." I, reluctantly, said, "Coke." I was then handed my sticky, overflowing Float. I had to go over and get a dozen napkins and clean everything up before I could leave. Then, I left.
So, the Float was okay. I ate/drank only half of it before throwing it out. Why didn't they have Root Beer?! Isn't "Float" Root Beer's last name? I don't know what I expected, but it simply didn't do anything for me. I was disappointed, to say the least. (To say the most would be: I was moved to blog about it after over a month of not blogging on anything.)

Later that day, Jared asked me to do one push up for him. I did, but he said my nose had to touch the ground. So I tried again, and I think that my pelvis/diaphragm might be broken.

Good day.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007


So it's finally happening: KOZMAPOLITZ. (this is kelly's last name and my last name put together).
The earring business is official. We have a domain and everything.
Please check it out and tell your friends!

Jared and I finally applied for our passports yesterday. We had our ugly ass photos taken and everything. In January, we will be booking our flights to Athens (via London) and beginning to thoroughly plan our trip to Greece and Turkey, which will occur in April/May. Very exciting. So in 6-8 weeks the passports will arrive and excitement will ensue.

I still haven't even started my Christmas shopping, but I get paid on Wednesday and the shopping will begin. I can't wait. I haven't bought anything but pasta for what seems like weeks. Not only will I be able to Christmas shop, I'll be able to eat something extravagant... like pizza! And frozen pizza! And maybe even pizza bagels!!!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

The Old Soup Can

Lately, (like, say, during the last month or two) my olfactory senses have been in overdrive. More specifically, my olfactory nostalgia trigger? I've been having so many moments where I catch a scent and get SENT (!) back to second grade gym class or something. Recently, I was sent back to the arts and crafts cabinet we had when I was a kid. It smelled of a combination of crayons, play-doh, construction paper, and laundry (it was in our laundry room). What a wonderful smell! On more than one occasion I had the unfortunate experience of reliving the time I made hot chocolate with soy milk. Not a good smell, not a good taste, not a good memory.
Today I found this website, Swap-Bot, a venue for Mail Swaps. I signed up for two. One involves handmade items and the other ATC's of your favorite comics. Mine will be Charlie Brown or something from his Peanuts gang. I think.
Yesterday I invented the word Goatmeal. The definition goes something like this:
Goatmeal (n) Anything relating to anything that a goat would eat, which is anything.

It came up when Jared referred to something (farts) smelling like old soup cans. I initially said that it would be like a goat's dinner, then evolved it into Goatmeal. So. Spread the word. Put it on and teach it to toddlers. I doubt it will make Word of the Year for '07, but there are more years ahead of us.
The two images I included today were things that I found when looking up "Open/Closed" in google image search. I was trying to find something to illustrate Business Hours in a flyer I was making. I didn't find anything. Just these.